I love my tattoos. I love tattoos in general. Big surprise I'm sure that the dreadhead likes ink! Tattoos are having art on your body, and you get to choose what that art is. No one else. Your body is your canvas. Blank and ready. Tattoos mean something different to everyone but for me they hold a spiritual connection. A little piece of time from my life. So today as I ws talking to my dad I thought of a saying:
Accept who you were. Discover who you are. Become who you need to be.
This says a lot. Think about it.
Accept who you were. Who was I? I always want to think of myself as being the nice girl. But I haven't always been that way. I've hurt a lot of people over the years, from my relationship infedelities, to the high school girl that made people cry, to the times I told my mother I hated her. I've been selfish. Its hard to look back and think of the innocent people I've hurt. How do you just accept blantantly hurting people? I also have trouble accepting how much of a vengeful mean person I was. But I know that the only way to move on is to accept who I was. I may have been that person but I am no longer. I take the lessons from my experience as a mean girl and use it to mold my spirit.
Discover who you are. Accepting who you were leads to discovering who you are. I know that the person I was 5 and 10 years ago has absolutely made me who I am today. Who am I? I'm a positive, loving, generous person who loves making the world see the sunshine beyond the rain. With out my past though I couldn't appreciate or even understand what I have and know now. I like who I am now.
Become who you need to be. Once you accept and discover you have nothing left in the way of becoming who you need to be.
So you might be asking wht the hell this has to do with tattoos. Well I want to get the words Accept and Discover as a reminder to continue becoming who I need to be. Life is a metemorphasis, a great change. We are continually changing and growing, becoming.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The Question Everyone Is Asking.
I know all of you (if you haven't already) want to ask me the infamous question: "Why did you dread you hair?" And I'm finally going to give everyone the real answer.
My typical answer to this question is usually something like "I've always wanted to." or something along that line. And thats true. I have always wanted dreads. I don't know when the urge started but after my friend Kate had hers and I got to experience them up close, I wanted them. I knew one day I would have them. They are just magnetic to me. I'm instantly drawn in to them, wanting to touch them and just oogle all their goodness! In fact I would've had dreads in high school but unfortunately I could never find anyone willing to help put them in.
I've always been a person who believes that you should be who you are regardless of what others think. This philosophy is easier said than done sometimes. As humans we naturally seek acceptance. And these days its a survival skill for some. I've always been, well, different. I've never found that nitche. You know that groove that everyone seems to fit into in life. I, no matter where I am and trust me I've been to a few places, always seem to stick out. I find friends and get a long with people but even those that befriend me can vouche for the fact that I am different. This difference has been apparent my whole life. Even as a young child I remember that I wasn't like the other kids. I seemed to think differently. Act differently. Almost function differently. Over the years I've grown accoustomed to this. In fact I now embrace it. I know that I am different! But for a while I found myself seeking that acceptance of others. I was at a crossroads in my life and things were rapidly changing. As a result I lost a little confidence in myself and found myself becoming someone I never wanted to be.
After leaving my job and reevallutating my life path I have come to this: There comes a point in life where you should stop caring what others think. It should no longer matter if they like you because they don't matter. You should like you. Those that are in your life for the right reasons like you. I no longer want to care what others think. I want to be me. I want to be 100% me despite the situation I find myself in! I don't want to be a cookie cutter of what someone else thinks I should be. And with this realization came the choice to dread my hair. It was time. After living in the world being someone I wasn't it was time to take a drastic leap back the other way.
My dreads are not just a hairstyle. They are a promise to myself. A promise that I will never again loose myself or try and be someone I'm not, and I will work everyday to be a little more honest with myself. I am who I am. I am not going to change to be someone else to please anyone. I am different and my dreads remind me of that everyday.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Hit me with music.
Ever notice how you feel when one of your favorite songs is playing? Doesn't it just feel almost electrifying? Every note resonates through you and you can't help but move with it. The words leave your lips effortlessly. You close your eyes and loose yourself in the music. I love when this happens. Especially at a concert. This summer I had the chance to see Slightly Stoopid in Boise Idaho. It was by the the most amazing concert I've seen yet. It was a trifecta for me, the company, the atmosphere and the lineup were amazing (definitely worth buying the second set of tickets after realizing we left the originals in the dresser half way to Boise).
First a bit of history on my music preferences-
I've always been so deeply moved by music and to meet some one else that reciprocates those feelings makes the connection come naturally. Music is often how I strike up conversations with people and in fact I've even noted myself as "Musically educated". It started fairly young with a love for Sublime. This was the first band I truly loved after my Backstreet Boys fetish (come on I was like 11! Cut me some slack). My first real choice of music. I had heard some Pink Floyd, Marilyn Manson, Nirvana, Guns and Roses (The song my dad sang to me when I was a baby), Grateful Dead, all mostly from my brother but nothing spoke to me like Bradley Nowell's lyrics. For some reason he related to my soul. I remember listening to his songs over and over again with Chels. I was moved and firmly planted into his circle forever. And from then on I loved music. I wanted to find more that made me feel something. That moved me! And I did. I dove into. I dove right into counter-cultural music of the 60's, the grunge of the 90's, the rock of the 70's but nothing came close to the reggae/roots movements!
Fast forward to Slightly Stoopid.
Q and I decided a good concert was just what we wanted to do to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. It seemed to fit perfectly. In fact you could say music was a big part in bringing us together. And to me the chance to see Slightly Stoopid is probably the closest I'll get to Sublime. So off we scampered to the Botanical Gardens for a July evening concert. The weather was spectacular. Sunny, clear skies and nice and warm. We proceeded to grab a beer and make our way to the open field where the concert was (I love outdoor concerts!). We planted ourselves on a nice hill in the sun and sat back waiting for the concert to start. It was amazing. Just a sense of calm was in the air. Everyone was ready to have a great time and that is what we were going to do!
The concert opened up with Shwayze and Cisco, followed by a great reggae band Rebelution and then of course the main attraction, Slightly Stoopid! It was such a phenomenal concert. And being able to share it with my husband is even better. We got right down in the crowd and got lost in the experience. Being right there when they played "Collie Man" and hearing everyone sing along was just awesome. I can't explain the feeling of being connected to someone though music and this concert felt like all of us were connected for a brief period of time, leaving behind all judgements and distractions and collectively getting lost in the music. Literally lost. (Moving experience at a concert? Yep. Its true. Music has a profound way of doing this to me.) I left that concert having a renewed sense of why I choose the way I live my life.
Music is powerful. It tells stories, history. It is a common factor between all of us. My life has been changed and even molded by music. A song can change your perspective on the day or your perspective on life. Put music in a large area over very loud speakers with friends and people who all love the same songs and you get a powerful experience. If you've never experienced a concert you are missing out on an amazing time! When you let music into your life your view can shift. Mine has. I think its obvious physically that I view life a bit differently than most. I live with no regrets. I do what I want because life is short and you can't spend too much time waiting around. Life will not stop and wait. It keeps going and before we know it we're all dead. I don't want to waste the time I've got, I want to enjoy my life and my loves. I want to follow my dreams. Music is the match to my inner fire. My drive to live comes from the sharps and flats that flow together and mesh with my soul and make me who I am.
First a bit of history on my music preferences-
I've always been so deeply moved by music and to meet some one else that reciprocates those feelings makes the connection come naturally. Music is often how I strike up conversations with people and in fact I've even noted myself as "Musically educated". It started fairly young with a love for Sublime. This was the first band I truly loved after my Backstreet Boys fetish (come on I was like 11! Cut me some slack). My first real choice of music. I had heard some Pink Floyd, Marilyn Manson, Nirvana, Guns and Roses (The song my dad sang to me when I was a baby), Grateful Dead, all mostly from my brother but nothing spoke to me like Bradley Nowell's lyrics. For some reason he related to my soul. I remember listening to his songs over and over again with Chels. I was moved and firmly planted into his circle forever. And from then on I loved music. I wanted to find more that made me feel something. That moved me! And I did. I dove into. I dove right into counter-cultural music of the 60's, the grunge of the 90's, the rock of the 70's but nothing came close to the reggae/roots movements!
Fast forward to Slightly Stoopid.
Q and I decided a good concert was just what we wanted to do to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. It seemed to fit perfectly. In fact you could say music was a big part in bringing us together. And to me the chance to see Slightly Stoopid is probably the closest I'll get to Sublime. So off we scampered to the Botanical Gardens for a July evening concert. The weather was spectacular. Sunny, clear skies and nice and warm. We proceeded to grab a beer and make our way to the open field where the concert was (I love outdoor concerts!). We planted ourselves on a nice hill in the sun and sat back waiting for the concert to start. It was amazing. Just a sense of calm was in the air. Everyone was ready to have a great time and that is what we were going to do!
The concert opened up with Shwayze and Cisco, followed by a great reggae band Rebelution and then of course the main attraction, Slightly Stoopid! It was such a phenomenal concert. And being able to share it with my husband is even better. We got right down in the crowd and got lost in the experience. Being right there when they played "Collie Man" and hearing everyone sing along was just awesome. I can't explain the feeling of being connected to someone though music and this concert felt like all of us were connected for a brief period of time, leaving behind all judgements and distractions and collectively getting lost in the music. Literally lost. (Moving experience at a concert? Yep. Its true. Music has a profound way of doing this to me.) I left that concert having a renewed sense of why I choose the way I live my life.
Music is powerful. It tells stories, history. It is a common factor between all of us. My life has been changed and even molded by music. A song can change your perspective on the day or your perspective on life. Put music in a large area over very loud speakers with friends and people who all love the same songs and you get a powerful experience. If you've never experienced a concert you are missing out on an amazing time! When you let music into your life your view can shift. Mine has. I think its obvious physically that I view life a bit differently than most. I live with no regrets. I do what I want because life is short and you can't spend too much time waiting around. Life will not stop and wait. It keeps going and before we know it we're all dead. I don't want to waste the time I've got, I want to enjoy my life and my loves. I want to follow my dreams. Music is the match to my inner fire. My drive to live comes from the sharps and flats that flow together and mesh with my soul and make me who I am.
What's Changed In A Year?
After logging into a forum I used to use while pregnant (babyandbump.com- great site for mommas) I got the urge to write something and decided to see if my blogspot account was still open....
To my surprise it was open and logged in... ready and waiting. I love it.
I read through my last posts and realised it has been a year since I've written anything. Well, this may surprise you, but A LOT has changed in a year. Tons! So here it is.... What's changed in a year...
In June my parents moved away. 20 hours away. It was heart breaking. I've never been without them. How was I going to be able to go though my day to day life without them? At the time, it was their best option and I couldn't help but try and be happy for them, even though it hurt so bad knowing they weren't going to be around the block anymore (or in the same time zone for that matter). I had to build my "moving wall" back up (the defense mechanism I used in my younger days to help get through moving a lot), had to push it out of my mind. Denial. But I could only deny it for so long because soon the day was here. They loaded up all their things and junk and pets and drove away, off to the vast cornfields of the Midwest.
This summer, in July, we went on our first family vacation. We headed over to see Q's parents, a 14 hour drive, and with a 9 months old its no "Sunday drive"! It was well worth tit though, the quality time together and with Q's parents far outweighs anything else. I think family is so important and making time to spend with them has to be a priority. I wasn't able to see a lot of my extended family as a kid so I really want my daughter to grow up knowing her family. Even the far away ones. On our way home from we took the scenic route. It was beautiful. We drove through the mountains and stopped off at a lake! Magnificent! It was the perfect was to end a perfect first family vacation!
In August we celebrated our first year of marriage! And what a year it has been. To say that we've had a great year is a vast understatement! I truly still believe that I'm married to the best man in the world and I can't picture my life without him. I've seen other people's relationships go up and down and it really makes me appreciate the I have honestly found the man I'm going to spend forever with. I only thought that this kind of love existed in fairy tales but, ladies, it really, REALLY does exist. But you have to go into it with nothing but honesty, both with each other and yourself!
With the fall came a rough month. September wasn't easy for us by any means but with a lot of love we got though it. Q's job had all but officially laid him off. And I sure didn't make enough to cover us. Something had to give. We made the decision for Quentin to find another job back in August. My career in retail also came to an end. Between bouncing my child from sitter to sitter and the new hours my job was taking on, we made the choice it would be nice to have me home. So September came and I began staying home, but my husband hadn't be able to find another job yet and after telling his current employer that he needed to find a job making more money they stopped giving him hours. But he found odd jobs and we made it work (not with out draining or savings but that is what its there for!) Financial issues can make or break a marriage and without ours being built on a solid relationship from the beginning I could see how easily we could have fallen into the pit a lot of couples do.
In October our little baby turned 1! I couldn't believe it! One already? Didn't I just have her sliced outta me a few months ago? Wow. It happened so fast. I blinked and she went from eight pound swaddled infant to a non-stop going all the time (would give the energizer bunny a run for his money!), do anything to make you laugh, incredibly smart little girl. My baby isn't a baby anymore, she's a toddler. My mom came out to visit for her birthday and it was so nice to see her. Its amazing how much I miss mommy dearest. October also brought great change for our family, Q got a new job! An oil rig job. It meant a vastly different schedule, as in he is gone 14 days at a time. But we couldn't turn down the opportunities this job would open up for our family. And I set out on a new path myself, I took a leap and turned my photography passion into a photography business. I can't begin to tell you how long I've wanted to do this!
November wasn't exactly a breeze either. Q started his new job and was gone for 3 weeks right off the bat. I was lost. I didn't have a clue how hard it would be to take care of Athena all day every day by myself. I found myself as a single parents 2 weeks out of the months. It took some getting used to but I'm finally getting it down I think!
December brought another year to a close with a great Christmas spent with Q's family in town. Of course the kiddo was spoiled rotten by everyone. Oh and I got dreads! Something I've wanted to do since high school. I'm a firm believer in living with no regrets and the way I feel about dreads I knew I would regret never having them myself. I took the plunge. And my wonderful husband spent 22 hours backcombing my hair. (Have I mentioned how much I love him?) They'll take a while to mature (about 9 months). I'm so glad I did it!
And now here I sit. there's so much more planned for us in 2012. We want to buy a house, take a vacation to Florida, make it to Denver to see Q's family, and towards the end of the year (if all goes right) we will be trying to expand our family! I couldn't have dreamed my life to be this good. I'm thankful for everything in my life, past and present. I would never change one thing in my past for fear that I wouldn't get what I have today. Your past makes you who you are, whether you accept that truth or not is up to you.
To my surprise it was open and logged in... ready and waiting. I love it.
I read through my last posts and realised it has been a year since I've written anything. Well, this may surprise you, but A LOT has changed in a year. Tons! So here it is.... What's changed in a year...
In June my parents moved away. 20 hours away. It was heart breaking. I've never been without them. How was I going to be able to go though my day to day life without them? At the time, it was their best option and I couldn't help but try and be happy for them, even though it hurt so bad knowing they weren't going to be around the block anymore (or in the same time zone for that matter). I had to build my "moving wall" back up (the defense mechanism I used in my younger days to help get through moving a lot), had to push it out of my mind. Denial. But I could only deny it for so long because soon the day was here. They loaded up all their things and junk and pets and drove away, off to the vast cornfields of the Midwest.
This summer, in July, we went on our first family vacation. We headed over to see Q's parents, a 14 hour drive, and with a 9 months old its no "Sunday drive"! It was well worth tit though, the quality time together and with Q's parents far outweighs anything else. I think family is so important and making time to spend with them has to be a priority. I wasn't able to see a lot of my extended family as a kid so I really want my daughter to grow up knowing her family. Even the far away ones. On our way home from we took the scenic route. It was beautiful. We drove through the mountains and stopped off at a lake! Magnificent! It was the perfect was to end a perfect first family vacation!
In August we celebrated our first year of marriage! And what a year it has been. To say that we've had a great year is a vast understatement! I truly still believe that I'm married to the best man in the world and I can't picture my life without him. I've seen other people's relationships go up and down and it really makes me appreciate the I have honestly found the man I'm going to spend forever with. I only thought that this kind of love existed in fairy tales but, ladies, it really, REALLY does exist. But you have to go into it with nothing but honesty, both with each other and yourself!
With the fall came a rough month. September wasn't easy for us by any means but with a lot of love we got though it. Q's job had all but officially laid him off. And I sure didn't make enough to cover us. Something had to give. We made the decision for Quentin to find another job back in August. My career in retail also came to an end. Between bouncing my child from sitter to sitter and the new hours my job was taking on, we made the choice it would be nice to have me home. So September came and I began staying home, but my husband hadn't be able to find another job yet and after telling his current employer that he needed to find a job making more money they stopped giving him hours. But he found odd jobs and we made it work (not with out draining or savings but that is what its there for!) Financial issues can make or break a marriage and without ours being built on a solid relationship from the beginning I could see how easily we could have fallen into the pit a lot of couples do.
In October our little baby turned 1! I couldn't believe it! One already? Didn't I just have her sliced outta me a few months ago? Wow. It happened so fast. I blinked and she went from eight pound swaddled infant to a non-stop going all the time (would give the energizer bunny a run for his money!), do anything to make you laugh, incredibly smart little girl. My baby isn't a baby anymore, she's a toddler. My mom came out to visit for her birthday and it was so nice to see her. Its amazing how much I miss mommy dearest. October also brought great change for our family, Q got a new job! An oil rig job. It meant a vastly different schedule, as in he is gone 14 days at a time. But we couldn't turn down the opportunities this job would open up for our family. And I set out on a new path myself, I took a leap and turned my photography passion into a photography business. I can't begin to tell you how long I've wanted to do this!
November wasn't exactly a breeze either. Q started his new job and was gone for 3 weeks right off the bat. I was lost. I didn't have a clue how hard it would be to take care of Athena all day every day by myself. I found myself as a single parents 2 weeks out of the months. It took some getting used to but I'm finally getting it down I think!
December brought another year to a close with a great Christmas spent with Q's family in town. Of course the kiddo was spoiled rotten by everyone. Oh and I got dreads! Something I've wanted to do since high school. I'm a firm believer in living with no regrets and the way I feel about dreads I knew I would regret never having them myself. I took the plunge. And my wonderful husband spent 22 hours backcombing my hair. (Have I mentioned how much I love him?) They'll take a while to mature (about 9 months). I'm so glad I did it!
And now here I sit. there's so much more planned for us in 2012. We want to buy a house, take a vacation to Florida, make it to Denver to see Q's family, and towards the end of the year (if all goes right) we will be trying to expand our family! I couldn't have dreamed my life to be this good. I'm thankful for everything in my life, past and present. I would never change one thing in my past for fear that I wouldn't get what I have today. Your past makes you who you are, whether you accept that truth or not is up to you.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Some Days Peanuts, Some Days Shells
Ever had a bad day? I mean a really bad day, where nothing seems to go right no matter what you do. Today was that day for me. It started bad and went downhill from there. With every bad thing that happened I tried not to let it bring me down... but it did.
It seems like bad days are inevitable. Reminds me of one of my favorite children's books- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. For those of you who haven't read it (or don't remember it) Alexander has a day quite like mine where nothing seems to go right for him. Through the book when things are going wrong he says he thinks he'll just move to Austrailia. Today I was Alexander and all I wanted was to move to Austrailia.
Bad days for me always seem to start with waking up late. Today was no exception. Waking up with thirty minutes to get you and your child ready to leave is damn near impossible. But I managed by cutting a few corners... which after getting to work I realised one happened to be brushing my teeth. Great.
Today there were tears, some anger, a few choice words, and a feel of despair.
My dad always has some sort of advice whether you want it or not. Today he says to me "Some days peanuts, some days shells". At first I didn't get it. Then it hit me. You can't always get peanuts everyday. Some days there are going to be shells. After hearing this I tried to find the good in today. And alas some good was found.
For one thing, when you take lunch really late in the day it makes the last few hours fly by. And when you work a job where you HAVE to be happy it really does become contagious and you ultimately become a little less grumpy.
Of course my loving wonderful husband stepped in to help save the day. Dinner was cooked when I came home and a bag of mini peanut butter cups awaited my arrival. Bless him.
Some days after finding a bunch of shells there may just be a few peanuts waiting to be found if you look hard enough.
It seems like bad days are inevitable. Reminds me of one of my favorite children's books- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. For those of you who haven't read it (or don't remember it) Alexander has a day quite like mine where nothing seems to go right for him. Through the book when things are going wrong he says he thinks he'll just move to Austrailia. Today I was Alexander and all I wanted was to move to Austrailia.
Bad days for me always seem to start with waking up late. Today was no exception. Waking up with thirty minutes to get you and your child ready to leave is damn near impossible. But I managed by cutting a few corners... which after getting to work I realised one happened to be brushing my teeth. Great.
Today there were tears, some anger, a few choice words, and a feel of despair.
My dad always has some sort of advice whether you want it or not. Today he says to me "Some days peanuts, some days shells". At first I didn't get it. Then it hit me. You can't always get peanuts everyday. Some days there are going to be shells. After hearing this I tried to find the good in today. And alas some good was found.
For one thing, when you take lunch really late in the day it makes the last few hours fly by. And when you work a job where you HAVE to be happy it really does become contagious and you ultimately become a little less grumpy.
Of course my loving wonderful husband stepped in to help save the day. Dinner was cooked when I came home and a bag of mini peanut butter cups awaited my arrival. Bless him.
Some days after finding a bunch of shells there may just be a few peanuts waiting to be found if you look hard enough.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Where's my magic wand?
I have come to the conclusion that to keep a clean house while working full time and raising a family one must have a magic wand! I don't understand how people, like for instance my mother, can work, clean house, raise a family, and still put dinner on the table! Can anyone say "June Cleaver"? I mean really, come on... There's a delicate balance and I'm still searching for it.
Growing up I took advantage of my mother's ability to be Super Woman and single handedly keep a smooth running house. We'll call her "June" for all intents and purposes. June never ceased in doing it all. I remember the house always being spotless. Dinner always being cooked. Laundry always folded and put away. How did June manage this? Funny thing is, I don't remember her spending her days slaving away either. Its like she had a magic wand that I never knew about. Poof. Chores finished.
I haven't always been the cleanest person. Okay, okay, I'm a slob. But when I moved into my brand new apartment in Port Saint Lucie it was spotless! I worked full time and kept an imaculate house. I even used to mop just about every day. Yet now I can't seem to find the time or energy to do the dinner dishes.
What changed?
Well for one I work daytime hours now. In PSL I bartended so I generally didn't work till 4pm. Now I work full time day hours. Of course thats no excuse though because I have to admit there are days I don't go in till mid-morning. And of course since I work day time hours, I'm home by 6:30pm. Doesn't sound too bad does it? Then why isn't my house clean?
Then there is the husband and child I've added to the mix. And its not that they're dirty or make messes. In fact I'm probably the messiest in the house. I guess I just find it hard to want to get off work and spend my time cleaning instead of spending time with my family.
Maybe thats it. When I lived in PSL maybe I didn't have anything I'd rather do so I just cleaned and now I'd much rather bathe my daughter or cuddle on the couch with my hubby. I guess that is the balance. The dishes will be there tomorrow. The laundry can wait. And really, who mops their floors religiously? My balance is knowing that I'm spending time with my family and enjoying them.
Mama Stone
Growing up I took advantage of my mother's ability to be Super Woman and single handedly keep a smooth running house. We'll call her "June" for all intents and purposes. June never ceased in doing it all. I remember the house always being spotless. Dinner always being cooked. Laundry always folded and put away. How did June manage this? Funny thing is, I don't remember her spending her days slaving away either. Its like she had a magic wand that I never knew about. Poof. Chores finished.
I haven't always been the cleanest person. Okay, okay, I'm a slob. But when I moved into my brand new apartment in Port Saint Lucie it was spotless! I worked full time and kept an imaculate house. I even used to mop just about every day. Yet now I can't seem to find the time or energy to do the dinner dishes.
What changed?
Well for one I work daytime hours now. In PSL I bartended so I generally didn't work till 4pm. Now I work full time day hours. Of course thats no excuse though because I have to admit there are days I don't go in till mid-morning. And of course since I work day time hours, I'm home by 6:30pm. Doesn't sound too bad does it? Then why isn't my house clean?
Then there is the husband and child I've added to the mix. And its not that they're dirty or make messes. In fact I'm probably the messiest in the house. I guess I just find it hard to want to get off work and spend my time cleaning instead of spending time with my family.
Maybe thats it. When I lived in PSL maybe I didn't have anything I'd rather do so I just cleaned and now I'd much rather bathe my daughter or cuddle on the couch with my hubby. I guess that is the balance. The dishes will be there tomorrow. The laundry can wait. And really, who mops their floors religiously? My balance is knowing that I'm spending time with my family and enjoying them.
Mama Stone
Sunday, January 30, 2011
How it came to be...
I've always enjoyed writing; Always wanted a journal, which I guess is now an outdated term, to jot down my thoughts, emotions and just good ol' ramblins. I've started these things a thousand different times, some paper & some online, but have never really suceeded in keeping them going. Just seemed to get side tracked and never return.
My goal by writing this blog is to simply have an outlet for whatever my mind is keeping inside, scary to think this will hold what my mind is thinking! My life has changed in so many ways since the last time I sat down to write anything. I'm married now. I have a daughter now. Life is busy.
Well, who am I?
I'm a twenty something modern woman. What the hell does that mean? Makes me laugh just writing it. I guess I would define it as just being an off the cuff individual. I wouldn't say feminist or anything like that. I just think I'm more of a "now-a-days" kinda girl. Although I do sometimes believe I was born in the wrong era, but thats a whole nother blog.
I work full-time as an assistant manager at a fashion retailer. I love my job. Its fun, exciting and every day is something new! Not to mention its like being someone's fashion consultant everyday! I never knew what I wanted to do in life. I took a few college courses, didn't really fit me honestly. I'm not the type of person who believes that college is always best. You can't learn everything about life in a book, and half the things you learn in a book is wrong any how! I kind of "fell" into my job. After a string of bartending jobs I moved to Montana and decided to look for something new, about a year later I started working at the store and worked my way up. I'm hoping to be the manager within the next couple of years, maybe sooner.
I'm married to the most wonderful man. I know every wife says that, but I honestly mean it. He's a great guy! I've had a few relationships that haven't quite turned out like the fairytale in my head (face it, who hasn't). After a five year relationship with Mr.Wrong I discovered what happiness truely is in love- honesty, both with each other and with yourself. I have never been able to be completely honest on both of those parts in past relationships. And looking back this is where it all went wrong. But the day I met Q was the day I made a change. So cliche but so true. Every thing has always been different with us. They say when you find the one "You just know" and its true. It can't be explained and it definately can't be forced. It just happens. Its so natural and pure that there's nothing else to call it other than fate.
I have a daughter who was just born the past year. She's brought so much meaning to my life in just the 3 months she's been alive. I always knew I wanted kids but the timing never seemed "right". About a year after being together and deciding to get married Q and I made the choice to have a baby. The timing was perfect. On Feburary 5th, 2010 I found out I was pregnant- that I can honestly say was the day my life changed and I never looked back. And on October 22nd, 2010 Lil Miss entered the world, screaming, and I found such a peace about life. Funny how such a little person changes who you are forever.
With everything that has happened in my life, I guess I now feel like putting it in black and white. Its time. Maybe some one will read this and relate. Maybe not. Only time will tell.
Mama Stone
My goal by writing this blog is to simply have an outlet for whatever my mind is keeping inside, scary to think this will hold what my mind is thinking! My life has changed in so many ways since the last time I sat down to write anything. I'm married now. I have a daughter now. Life is busy.
Well, who am I?
I'm a twenty something modern woman. What the hell does that mean? Makes me laugh just writing it. I guess I would define it as just being an off the cuff individual. I wouldn't say feminist or anything like that. I just think I'm more of a "now-a-days" kinda girl. Although I do sometimes believe I was born in the wrong era, but thats a whole nother blog.
I work full-time as an assistant manager at a fashion retailer. I love my job. Its fun, exciting and every day is something new! Not to mention its like being someone's fashion consultant everyday! I never knew what I wanted to do in life. I took a few college courses, didn't really fit me honestly. I'm not the type of person who believes that college is always best. You can't learn everything about life in a book, and half the things you learn in a book is wrong any how! I kind of "fell" into my job. After a string of bartending jobs I moved to Montana and decided to look for something new, about a year later I started working at the store and worked my way up. I'm hoping to be the manager within the next couple of years, maybe sooner.
I'm married to the most wonderful man. I know every wife says that, but I honestly mean it. He's a great guy! I've had a few relationships that haven't quite turned out like the fairytale in my head (face it, who hasn't). After a five year relationship with Mr.Wrong I discovered what happiness truely is in love- honesty, both with each other and with yourself. I have never been able to be completely honest on both of those parts in past relationships. And looking back this is where it all went wrong. But the day I met Q was the day I made a change. So cliche but so true. Every thing has always been different with us. They say when you find the one "You just know" and its true. It can't be explained and it definately can't be forced. It just happens. Its so natural and pure that there's nothing else to call it other than fate.
I have a daughter who was just born the past year. She's brought so much meaning to my life in just the 3 months she's been alive. I always knew I wanted kids but the timing never seemed "right". About a year after being together and deciding to get married Q and I made the choice to have a baby. The timing was perfect. On Feburary 5th, 2010 I found out I was pregnant- that I can honestly say was the day my life changed and I never looked back. And on October 22nd, 2010 Lil Miss entered the world, screaming, and I found such a peace about life. Funny how such a little person changes who you are forever.
With everything that has happened in my life, I guess I now feel like putting it in black and white. Its time. Maybe some one will read this and relate. Maybe not. Only time will tell.
Mama Stone
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